Needed: Popo-Man Signal

Written April 7, 2011

My superhero-level bravery was tested just two nights when I was attacked by a vampire bat with a wing-span of five feet! Well, there really is no way of knowing if he was really a vampire…..and the wing-span was probably more around 1 ½ feet. But the tale is still scary!

It was a dark and stormy night in my village. I was having trouble sleeping as the previous night had been a deep unconsciousness of 12 whole hours recovering from food poisoning- which I say to warn if the meat at your butcher has been hanging long enough to look questionable then don’t eat it….no matter how much you are craving fajitas.

Anyway, I was hearing sounds on my roof which I chose to believe was my neighbor’s cat. Then just as I was about to fall back to sleep I heard the unmistakable rapid flutter of bat wings flying above me! He had somehow slipped through a gap in the way the roof is made and could not find his way back out. Luckily, I always sleep with my mosquito net tucked in even on nights like this when it’s too cold for mosquitoes. I never want to catch anything else wanting to snuggle.

At this point, I have flattened myself against the bed and shrieking like a girl- which I am not ashamed of since I am girl. After a few minutes he flies into the living room. I realize he is not going to find his way back out so I have to do something. I figure if Indiana Jones can slap off caves full of them I can handle one.

So I slowly pull the net up making sure to undo enough that I can easily jump back under it if the bat decides to give a surprise attack. I jump up and run to my bedroom door where I can reach out and open the door that goes out to my courtyard. Then I quickly close my bedroom door so he can’t come back in and then jump back under the mosquito net. I believe I did this all under two seconds but I didn’t think to time it.

After a while, I stop hearing him flying around the living room so I decide to brave a trip to the bathroom. I am able to grab a broom for protection as I run across the house to where I keep my night-time-pee-bucket- which I ironically have inside to keep from encountering any bats in the middle of the night on my way to the outside choo.

Just as I am relaxed and heading back to my room I see him flying right at me! I had forgotten bats are blind! So instead of flying around the room away from me like birds do, this bat was flying towards the light that I happened to be holding. Luckily, I still have my broom and able to get a few good swipes before running back to my bedroom. I think he got the message that he needs to be outside eating bugs and not inside scaring me.

Back closed-off under my net, I have no choice but to wait until he realizes he can get out the door. Sorry I don’t have a more exciting ending to include here. I spend most of the next day wondering if he’s hidden in house’s wood beams waiting for the sun to set to come back out. But I am glad to say he’s out of the house! At least for now…